deputychief | IC Contact

[ There's the possibility of leaving a message, but.. no way, that's way too impersonal, she should at least do this properly, right?

So she's just going to call until he picks up.

Sorry, Itsuki. ]

[ well he sees who that is. And no lie, his nervousness immediately arises for a million reasons explained in detail on other threads.

So it does take a few rings for him to pick up, but when he does, it's in a typically smooth, but, more atypically, not a light one.]

Hello, it's Itsuki.

It's me.

[ ... If anything, from the sheer bluntness and the idea that she doesn't even feel the need to say her name one can already exactly tell who it is.. but she's actually a little more nervous than that, she's just trying to keep herself strong. ]

And.. well, you probably already know what this is about, okay? So let me finish! Since.. I've thought about it, but now I have an answer for you about that confession from earlier. And I've decided I accept it--

...

Or.. no, I should say..

[ she swallows - come on, asahi, you're usually so brave, so what is one tiny little confession? are you afraid he'll change his mind after all? .. well, she is, actually, is not just a little.. ]

I.. have the same feelings for you too. I.. like you-- no, more than that, I love you.

[ maybe she should say more, but her own nervousness stops her right there, catching her breath right in her throat. ]

[Every sense is straining to alertness now, as the Joke That Went Way Too Far appears to be headed to its conclusion.

But it's not as if he's unprepared. It's been quite a few days. He could've had a speech memorized if he wanted to. Two speeches, one for if she says no, one for if she says yes. One more if she still demurs, wants to go on a date or something like that (though that doesn't really require a speech; that would be perhaps the easiest path out).

Well, it's not as if he thought he was unprepared. And the beginning section of it, brisk as it is, doesn't do anything to dispel that comfortable feeling. Even the middle is okay.

But wow, okay, way to sweep away his preparations with the end. Hold on, hold on, hold on! Love? Who said -- who said -- he's so not good with -- he can't possibly have on his conscience that she -- not that he was going to, anyway, but --

So the pause that was assured and placid enough, for the situation, now becomes again for him fraught with significance. He needs more time. He definitely needs more time than that. He swallows.]

Asahi, I...

[No, his voice sounds stupid and hoarse suddenly. He clears his throat.]

I'm really - honored. [Wait, shit, he shouldn't leave her in suspense too long (even though she certainly did him!).]

A-And I do feel somewhat the same way, only -- it's a bit --

[inartiiiiiiculate]

Could we talk about this in person? Could I -- come over to wherever you are?

[A walk would help too.]

[ ... Huh? He suddenly sounds.. pretty weird, doesn't he? Yeah, she's pretty sure he sound weird, she's never heard that weird ~~stupid~~ tone from him before. Is he nervous, maybe? Or-.. is something else wrong? Is this the path where she inevitably steers towards 'I didn't really mean it and I don't feel that way at all for you'--

But then at least he says he feels the same way-- .. somewhat.. the sam way..?

By now she's just incredibly confused about what's going on. She's not even sure if she's on the right track of not now - not that she regrets saying it, she's already said hiding it would be like lying to herself, so even if he rejects her she did at least say it in the end - and it makes her nervous aside from just generally confused. ]

Of course..? [ Her tone has hardly ever sound more unsure. Especially considering that was supposed to be an answer, not a question. ] I can come somewhere too-- if that's easier for you, I mean.

No, no, don't trouble yourself. I'll come over. Where are you?

[He's more sure-sounding now, and already getting ready to go out.]

... In my room.

[ Are you sure you want to go to a girl's room, Itsuki.

Is this the social link rank you want to go to. ]

Uh, that's Heimdall 208..

[That doesn't even register with him. For better or for worse.]

All right. I'll see you -- [The Odin and Heimdall Houses are close, even though the districts are diametrically opposite.] -- in ten minutes, Asahi.

[And a brisk walk! That will help him calm down and get back to the roughly-laid out plan.]

[ ... Ten minutes.

Ten minutes.

That means ten whole minutes to freak out and anxiously wait for what's about to come-- if he hadn't seemed so.. unsure for a moment back there as well she would've felt a lot better, but right now she jsut doesn't know what to think or expect. She half feels like calling someone quickly and asking for advice, but they would inevitably either think she's an idiot or be a person she wouldn't want to bother with that, right?

At least her whole mental debate about that takes up about the entire waiting time, and after a while she can't bear it anymore-- she quickly peeks her head out of the door to her room, staring down the hallway to see if he's coming yet. ]

[He actually strides very quickly while he's thinking to himself, and arrives almost exactly on time. He pads up the stairs relatively quietly, nevertheless, and then emerges from the staircase with a determined expression, in time to spot her head popped out of the door.

At which he has to grin. It kind of defuses the tension for him.]

Good afternoon, Asahi.

Edited 2012-10-11 19:49 (UTC)

.. Ah!

[ She looks like a kid caught with her hand in the cookie jar. But.. that's what she is right now either way, honestly, and she ends up looking a little embarassed in the 'i-it's not like i was waiting for you' kind of way except she doesn't say it since she's too honest.. ]

H-.. hey. Good that you came. [ what else would you expect.. ] .. Come on in.

[ she opens the door a little wider. ]

[Ah geez, well, her being cute is a good note to start this off on, at least.

He smiles a bit and does come in, with a --] Thank you.

[He glances around the room briefly, wondering how she decorates the place. But mostly, it's funny to see her again after these last days of radio silence, when she's still been occupying his thoughts quite a bit, and in person now, too.]

I'm glad to see you well, too.

[Right, how to launch into the topic? Actually, he's rather confident that she'll do it immediately herself if he gives her half the opportunity.]

[ Honestly, Asahi's room is pretty simple - mostly due to the fact that she's out and about more than she actually spends time in here. This time was just different since she didn't want anyone to overhear her talking about this, it might end up embarassing..

(Another reason is that she has to share the bathroom here with a guy and she DOESN'T TRUST IT, okay.)

She pushes the door closed behind him just to make sure nobody's listening in, leaning against it with her back now. ]

That's good..

[ Although the fact that he isn't starting about it yet is nervous making in itself, why wouldn't he?! After all, he came all this way, so.. he's got to say it now, right? Gah, at this point she's going to explode from the nervous feeling building up, she knows it for sure.. ]

... S-.. so?

[Hm. Well, it's not a great deal of help, that. He'll have to launch into it himself. He's more a reactive person than a proactive one, in general, too, so it's a bit unfamiliar. He hesitates again (sorry Asahi) before finally starting.]

Asahi, you're a remarkable person, and -- [uh-oh, this is already the wrong start. That sounds like a flat-out let's be friends speech. He pauses again and tries to meet her eyes, see what's in them, feel out this...

Right. He'd reminded himself earlier of what it would take to make this situation work.]

I'm very happy that you accepted. And I do like you, quite a lot. But I also know you'd want me to be totally honest with you, so I suppose--I think I should say a few things, and--then you can decide if you still want to accept.

[He pauses to give her the chance to say something if she wants first.]

[ That does dangerously sound like it, Itsuki-- hence why she freezes up for am oment, but when he briefly pauses she wonders if he noticed too and that's why he stopped or maybe for some other reason.. but what follows after it - despite it not being a friendzoning entirely - makes her nervous too, say a few things? What, it's just dating, isn't it, is it really supposed to be that complicated?

Asahi tries to force herself to meet his gaze, but it's so difficult while she feels like this. At least she allows herself to flop down and sit so she doesn't have to focus on remaining standing, at least. Even if she flops down on a table rather than on a chair, good job, Asahi. Great job. ]

Of course I want you to be honest, didn't we already establish that way ago? [ Her voice is a little softer than usually, a little more.. withdrawn, almost, nearly shy when you compare it to her usual outbursts. She swings her legs back and forth just slightly. ]

.. So just tell me then.

Right. [He draws in a slightly nervous breath himself, although his outward composure is (otherwise) much the same as usual.]

Well, first off - that, ah, "confession" was a slight misunderstanding... That is to say, it wasn't what I was referring to. In fact, I suppose I was... flirting with you a bit, but I didn't initially think you would end up interpreting it in that way.

[He actually bows his head a bit.] It wasn't dishonest, but I don't suppose it can have been called one hundred percent forthright, either. I'm sorry. [This time, he won't pause for comments.]

Second - well, there is someone else I do care for and have duties towards, though not, that is to say, romantically. [mostly. well it's a tangled (ha ha) mix, but the point is, it's a no-go right now.] But still--she and I are very close, and... ah, I want you to know that I wouldn't want anything about that to change. I couldn't let anything about that change.

[He pauses for a second, and then realizes quickly, so quickly he even stumbles a bit, that he should add--]

W-Which doesn't mean I would do anything to betray you. I wouldn't. Certainly not.

[This is the hard part, though. For him. Maybe one of the other things is a bigger problem for her, but it had just gotten easier for him. He looks up again.]

And third... [He draws a breath.] I can't honestly say I know why you - you like me as much as you said. ["LOVE" love love love geeze--but okay, honesty. Honesty. He can do that...] I don't know if I can promise that I'm... really the person that you might think I am. I'll try, and I think you'd make me better -- you already have, in fact -- but I know you have high standards, and I ... am not the kindest person you could have picked. I think in most cases the ends justify the means. And I wouldn't be this honest with everyone -- only you, really. And I would do whatever it takes to save my world.

[He gazes into her eyes, frowning a bit.] I don't mean to say that you can't leave if you end up feeling that I'm not--good enough, but... well, I suppose I'd rather know now.

That's all. If you can get past that, then... I do like you. And I'd like it if you would say yes.

[Whew. Okay, that's mostly out there. He has little fear of pressuring her into something by saying so, since she wouldn't lie, and it might be better to be clear.]

[ It's so much to take in at once.

And a few times she comes dangerously close to interrupting him, sputtering some syllable before shutting up again instead, and since Asahi is - as always - so easy to read it's also easy to see how her emotion progress as the talk goes on. But by the end, there's so many things she wants to say that she doesn't even know where to begin, which thread in her thoughts to follow first so she can respond to him when everything is whirling around this much.

Because there's the realisation that he didn't mean the confession. Or, well, he meant it, but not as a confession. And the idea that she misinterpreted that badly and it could've been much worse (what if he didn't like her after all, she would've looked like such an idiot for that question she asked on the network..) and it's just.. incredibly shameful to herself too, the idea she was fooled that easily. It's probably there that she sputters the most, getting a little more quiet after it again. Because the second point is something she already realised - that one girl she talked to, no doubt, unless he has even more than one of them-- but no, she does know he wouldn't lie. Not about that, not now, she doesn't need to see or not see a tail to know that.

The last part is actually where she gets the most quiet as she's thinking about it herself too. High standards, huh.. well, she guesses that's true, but.. there's no way she's the best girl for him either, right? But isn't that somehow what love is supposed to be about, about that compromise, about both working towards each other.. or, well, so she's heard, not like she knows much about it.

She does look at him, and despite having so many thoughts.. she can voice them later. There's something more important now, instead of starting to ramble about many things she should start with the main issue - the decision. The answer.

'If you can get past that'..

She knows she's immovable most of the time. But these issues aren't.. too big, right? Not big enough to stop her from somehow feeling that she should say yes - 'follow your heart', all those people said. Geez.. ]

Itsuki Koizumi, you're a moron for making girls think you've confessed to them when you actually didn't!

But...

[ she obviously quiets down at this - the first part was just something natural, something she could've said at any time - although slightly more embarassed, considering the color of her face - but now she seems more serious and.. well, calm in asahi terms. ]

.. If you want to know the answer, it's.. 'yes'. I.. do like you. Despite those things.

Edited 2012-10-13 17:18 (UTC)

[He stares for a second. Well, he had honestly thought parts two and three were a bigger deal, but evidently someone disagrees.

...Yeah, maybe that makes sense when you actually add it up and then mix Asahi in. Well, so be it. The stare turns into a smile of recognition - especially as she says that in such... mature-seeming tones.

That's really what this is about, isn't it? Well, it's all very complicated, but it comes down to something like that. She barely hesitated at all. She was willing to compromise that. ]

Ah. Well. [Actually, the last time he was at a stage like this was awfully phony and practice-like. Some practice; it leaves him largely unprepared. Still, it's all going to be fine if he keeps his composure, right?

He covers the distance of a few steps between him and the table she's sitting on, joining her by leaning against it.]

Thank you. I'm glad.

[Additional words seem a bit superfluous now. Sure, not everything is settled. Sure, not everything is perfect. But actually, this is a sudden moment of calm, like a still water droplet on a leaf in a rainstorm. And it's with that image that he therefore reaches for her hand, as if to ratify the compact in the simplest way possible.]

[ Compared to her usual loud and confident attitude, there's almost something timid in the way she notices his hand doing that, grabbing it lightly in return and still with an actual blush on her face. So.. this is it, right? There's no way back anymore, but the more she thinks about it, the more she doesn't care if there is or not. The only way for her always is forward, so if it's going forward together with him now, then that's a good thing. A good thing for sure. ]

.. Me too.

[ For the briefest moment she lets her voice trail off, let the silence linger just a little, but then she figures she should say now what she couldn't say in the moment before - just to be just as open with him as he was with her, right? ]

Besides, about that last thing.. I'm not always as good as you might think I am either, you know? I haven't told anyone here before, but it's not like I've always told the truth, I've lied two times before. [ .. Although the fact that she makes such a big deal out of lying two times should say enough in itself.. ] One time to stop a teacher from being ostracized and another time to protect a friend from getting hurt physically. So.. I get it. 'The ends justify the means', 'it's about the reason behind the lie and not the lie itself', I know that all, but it's still.. difficult. [ to unite that with her thoroughly established ideals. ]

So that just means we can.. well, help each other, right? ... T.. together.

[ God, she almost feels like some sort of flustered schoolgirl now (you mean you aren't, Asahi?) but at least she got that out, one way or another. ]

[He has two immediate thoughts, which he decides to keep to himself: first, that this feels very different from when Rapunzel grabs your hand and tugs you along (that one looks a lot like what Haruhi does to people who are not him). It's funny how light, and loose, and soft it seems in comparison -- not that the others can't be that, but, well, it's a matter of individuality, isn't it? And individuality she has in spades. This seriously is a girl who's counted the number of times she's lied intentionally on one hand. Man, he's set himself a challenge here. A challenge leavened, admittedly, by how innately likable he finds people who are so straightforward about their hopes and wishes. That, he supposes, is the common thread between her and those other two for whom he has affection.

Which makes him wonder even more what exactly she meant to say by emphasizing "love." Love love love. How complicated...

The second one is something he's more reluctant to think of immediately at this moment, which is that, in a narrow, parochial, probably-subversive sense, he figures that she could be one of the most effective liars there is -- that is, she could be. If everyone knows she doesn't lie, even when it comes to painfully embarrassing things, it's great cover for when she does lie. And he could probably learn something useful from that, couldn't he?

Which he figures is not a thought that would appeal to her at all, and in fact it's a little shameful, even.

But in fact, that's just one way of looking at this. That would be making him a more honest person, wouldn't it? And lies being more effective is almost unavoidable. If you look at it the right way, there's nothing so bad about it. How complicated. Again.

And at the moment, though he loves complication, it's not at all complicated to find it, well, cute, how flustered and nervous she continues to be. And what she's saying: helping her -- if he's interpreting this correctly -- learn to decide when it's better to lie for a better result -- is a rather charming idea.]

Certainly. Together. I'd be glad to help you with that. Or, really, anything.

[He has to smile at that. This all seems to be working out well enough--peacefully enough (~~no punching?!~~)--and in commemoration, he gives her hand a light squeeze.]

[ As fumbling and nervous as she is, she does realise none of this is bad. It's making her nervous, but it's more since it's so.. good in a way she's never experienced before, which is what makes her slowly try to explore this whole new territory. Slow, fumbling, but.. smiling too now, slowly but surely, especially when she feels that squeeze as a confirmation of sorts and she awkwardly tucks a strand of hair behind her ear with her free hand. ]

The same counts for me. If there's anything you ever need, just.. feel free to ask me, no matter what. [ Helping out the people she's the closest to is something she's never minded, and when it's the person she's.. well, dating, then it's even more natural. Like something she doesn't even have to think about. ] My power here is that one that drains other people's pain, so.. you know. [ A pause and she squeezes back - lightly, even though that takes quite some effort since she's used to being way more rough physically.. ] Just in case.

[ But Asahi wouldn't be Asahi if she wouldn't be weird in offering even herself up for something like that, casually as if it's just the same as all other thoughts. ]

Ah... I don't think I'd like to see that one in action very much, Asahi. I'd rather not see you hurt, and--particularly not because of me.

[He shrugs a bit self-consciously. It's odd to articulate feelings in such a straightforward manner for him, indubitably true as they are (well, who would want any of that stuff? To happen to anyone at all?). It's not hard for him ordinarily to compliment people, even to flirt--it certainly wasn't when he began this whole mess--but the difference between "Itsuki" saying it and he himself saying it is vast.

Still, what assuages his own feeling of awkwardness is her evidently greater one. In the widest sense, he's usually there to make things easier for people (read: Haruhi; recently read: Rapunzel), and this evidently is pretty hard (or at least takes an effort) for her. That reminder makes it easier for him to smile down at her and say in a softer tone:]

But, after all, that's one of the things that makes me like you. Do, ah, remember, though, that... you should take care of yourself, too. For my sake, at least.

[He lets a slight pause pass, and then, to lighten all this a bit, adds:]

Well--would you like to go to dinner tonight, by the way?

That's why I said 'just in case'..

[ But it's little more than a half-muttered mumble as an afterthought. Even if the compliments still make her a little awkward and embarassed because of the newness of it all, but she's already dealing a little better with it - it's all just about moving step by step, even with this, huh..? Those thoughts are better suited for when the situation actually arises, either way. ]

Ah, I.. wouldn't mind that though. [ At least she seems to grow a little more back to the usual Asahi by now, with the way she starts to smile - not quite as boldly as usually, but it's definitely genuine. ] Sort of like a celebration, I guess?

voice; forward dated until after the event HI I'M FINALLY HERE

jelle-san... With the moe assist...

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oh my god you made that joketag right as i typed this TIMING

yeah GO CONFESS TO LEAF

just accept her dokis gosh

oh my god it's complicated

itsuki just has too many feelings

that's right he wants a cake made out of rainbows

HE DOESN'T EVEN GO HERE

... shhh heimdall will kick him out if you say that

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